I have heard of this several times from the many personal development and leadership podcasts I listened to, but I always just kinda felt like it didn't apply to me. I have heard the advice to identify the lies you tell yourself about what you can do and what is possible. I always thought I had a healthy perspective of infinite possibility and worked daily not to limit myself, but recently I have uncovered several lies I tell myself. Lies that give me anxiety, steal my energy and are generally toxic to the person I try to be, the person I say I am.
I think it's human nature to judge, conclude, tie things up into a pretty package that makes sense to us. It gives us stability. We rest in this knowing and on the surface it allows us to streamline our lives. Until, that is, we realize the knowing we're resting in is false.
My lies come from a place of fear. I have been overwhelmed lately and when I dig down to truly find the source of my feelings, I realize I am afraid of success. I have committed myself to the thought that with more accomplishment, more success, more of a following, more opportunities, comes more struggle, responsibility, work. Although outwardly I would tell you that success = peace of mind, success in the very traditional sense, to me is hard.
Ewe, who wants that. I don't and then here comes my burning it down coping mechanism that wants to blow up any inkling of success before it destroys me. This narrative is not serving me. Here are the self-sabotaging lies I discovered this weekend.
Success is hard work.
Success takes sacrificing large parts of yourself.
Success means putting everyone else first.
Your success is directly related to how others react to you.
Success equals responsibility that is difficult to bear as one person.
I am sure there are others but these were the obvious ones and holy smokes, that's a lot of lies for someone who authentically believed she was completely open and not drawing conclusions or imposing judgements on herself. So, how do we rewrite the narrative? Well, I need to go back and understand when those stories came on line. More importantly, I need to acknowledge the part of me who is so scared of success, because how I define success in those lies makes me want no part of it.
We can only stand working through the layers of our vulnerability, as we are ready. I'm always surprised when I uncover new areas within myself that need work. Even then, I judge how I didn't see it sooner. But, I am so grateful to have the opportunitiy to see farther and dive deeper into the pieces of myself that no longer serve me. What lies do you tell yourself?