It is so interesting to me our dualistic nature. This grand dance we do that includes contemplation and action. To say “I do as God calls me,” is a beautiful way to live but one so contradictory to our current social process.
How does one explain the divine desire to mow the lawn right before a huge deadline? More importantly how do you work with the reactions of others? “Don’t you think you could get someone else to do that?” Why are you distracting yourself with manual labor?”
I most often do as I am lead, so if mowing the lawn is in my heart, that is where I go. I am intentional with the time, focused on being, listening and connecting with God. Now trust me, I am not on the tractor with my arms up praying to the heavens (although, I would if I felt so inclined). Most of the time, me being intentional is my negotiation with God. “Fine, I will mow the lawn, but I want this time to be intentional.” Then I mow.
But I don’t find that I can tell people easily, that I’m headed out for some intentional lawn mowing. Even as I write that, I’m rolling my eyes at the hokey, new age, bull shit tone. I understand to the outside, it can look like I don’t care about “urgent” matters. So sometimes, I start to question myself. How do I know when I’m just mowing the lawn because I feel like it. When am I being lead by my internal divine compass and when is it simply my default programming taking over?
This process of transformation ignites a constant personal inventory that has my head spinning at times. I try to stay away from right and wrong and just focus on awarenesses, but the constant digging for truth and analyzing is something I can’t seem to shut off. I’m curious to how it all seems to matter and not matter at the same time, and I want to be authentic with my contribution.
Maybe mowing the lawn is God’s gift for an overstimulated brain. I like to think the desire to zone out in some lawn care is God’s way of reminding me, he is in control, that I am currently living authentically and I don’t need to be anything more than me, mowing a lawn.