Just Getting Through

I pride myself on living in the flow, but what if there's no flow?

I dedicate myself to self inventory. Know what you want and go for it. Live in the flow, whatever you are meant to do, you will have motivation for....go with that.  That is how I live my life, and that perspective has served me so very much. Sometimes though, what you need is unattainable with your current schedule, obligations and commitments. How can you possibly know that you are going to need a walk in nature on Friday at 2 before you book your Friday with work stuff and other committments. 

The truth is, it is unrealistic to always go with the flow. Now, I am a firm believer in the fact that you may not know what you need and that an appointment you are dreading may be the exact input, interaction or experience you need to lead you to the next thing that is meant to be, even if it involves suffering. But, I don't want to minimize the sacrafice it takes to fufil commitments when you know they are going against the flow, when you simply don't have it in you and are faking parts of your day and even your life. These sacrafices I call "Just getting through," and they're very real. 

Just getting through comes from a place of strength, even when you have none to give. It is part of your waking up and showing up, part of your integrity to fufil your commitments and show a tenatious character. 

Generally I have mountains of things on my agenda, but they're not overwhelming as I simply work on what I feel like working on. My to-do list gets done in reasonable time and without much anxiety as I choose to live in the flow. Even in times I feel like doing nothing, I honor that and do something mindless, rest, or meditate. I believe that is part of being authentic and honoring your needs.

But, there are times when I need a break, when I have no motivation to do anything and even doing nothing seems against the flow. I have this awkward, anxious energy where I feel stuck at a cross roads of a million directions and none of them feel right, not even rest. I start to feel feelings of being overwhelmed, guilty that nothing feels right, and I don't know what to do with myself. This is where I choose to JUST GET THROUGH. 

When I can self identify that I am just getting through, the guilt goes away, the anxiety subsides as my agenda is reduced to simply existing for another second, another minute, another hour until I regain some motivation, some grounding, some purpose and excitement. 

I want to be clear that Just Getting Through is not for the times you are anxious, sad or depressed and can deal with it. I would label those times as "Being Sad, Being Unmotivated, Having Anxiety." In those times you may choose to sit around the house in your pajamas, watch a movie, take a walk, etc. That is somewhat more fufilling than just getting through, as you have fully opted into feeling your emotions and given yourself the safe space to allow them to process.

Just getting through is when nothing feels right. You have no clue what you want to do. You have racing thoughts when you try to rest, and there simply is no flow.

It is the ultimate "I don't know" personified. This space is uncomfortable, it's as though I am saying to myself, "OK, I get it, this isn't working, what do you want me to do?" So all I can do is get through. I give myself a pass to EXIST. Just Exist. Do nothing, Do something, it doesn't matter, litterally let time pass. 

I encourage others to switch things up if the doing nothing is a bunch of racing thoughts. Take a shower. Move from the bed to the couch. Run to the gas station. Call someone. Interact. Anything to make the time go by and to not focus so much on how stagnant, crazy and lost you feel.

Everything passes, but while I'm preaching to live in the flow, I wanted to acknowlege that there is a time for just getting through, and it is nothing to feel guilty about. 

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